While laying in my bed trying to drift off to sleep last night, I thought about a book I'd finished reading. It's central theme was forgiveness. Although the story was fiction, it was written in a way that I, as well as other readers, I imagine, questioned the main character's choices. In the same situation, would I make the same decisions? In the novel, the main character was able to forgive and show love to one who had attempted to take all she had, including her life.
In the midst of my contemplations, a particular person entered my mind. This person has never committed a major offense against me, yet for so many years I have felt rejection from her. So many little things, whether done to me or my family, have cumulated to build a tower of hurt. I have struggled with forgiveness towards her, and have many times chosen to forgive. I don't always feel forgiveness, and at times I may not want to forgive. I could so easily justify my desire to remain callus towards her. Yet the Bible reminds me that the heart is deceitful above all things. I understand that forgiveness, like love, is much more than a mere emotion; it is a choice. Sometimes we have to make the choice over and over again, as I have had to towards this individual.
As I lay in bed and these thoughts ran through my mind, I sensed the Lord speaking to me. "Have you forgiven her?" He asked. I responded, "Yes, Lord. I have chosen to forgive her. It's hard, and at times my heart rebels. But I have made the decision to forgive."
Ok, so ya gotta love those times when the Almighty God asks you a question, you respond in what you believe to be a positive manner, and His next statement is, "Ooh, reaaaallllyyyyyy." it was not a question. It was a statement. A long, drawn out statement.
I didn't respond. I simply thought, "Uh oh!" and braced myself.
The Lord then proceeded to lay out "my brand" of forgiveness. Yes, many times I have chosen to forgive this person. Many times I have prayed for her to come to know the Lord as her Savior, is she doesn't already. Many times I have asked Him to change her heart according to His plans for her.
What I didn't realize until last night is that I have never asked the Lord to bless her coming in and her going out. I have never asked for healing or provision in whatever areas she may need them. I have never asked for Him to use her greatly, to raise her up as a mighty woman of God, to fulfill His ultimate plans in her life.
In short, I have never asked big things for her. I was content to ask for the mediocre - salvation and basic needs.
Don't misunderstand; it wasn't my intentional plan. I didn't even realize that's what I had been doing until the Lord God revealed it to me.
As if that didn't already have the conviction fires burning in my heart, I learned He wasn't done with the lesson just yet. He paused for a few moments, letting His words sink in, then He began again.
"I have told you in My Word, that the measure you mete out to others will be the measure I mete out to you." GULP. Say what?? I was speechless. There's times it's just best to remain silent in His presence. This was one of those times.
He continued. "You've been asking about the dreams I have given you. I have promised great things for you, but you are questioning because they haven't yet come to pass. You are tired of having barely enough, and you pray for more than enough, that you can bless others. You desire to go farther, to do more, for Me. It is good to have those desires, but do you not yet understand? The measure in which you forgive others is the measure in which I forgive you. If you ask me to give her the basics, why do you ask me to give to you more than enough? If you ask me to give her salvation, but not to use her mightily, why do ask me to use you more? What you desire for her is what I will give to you. The measuring stick will not change, for I am no respector of persons."
'Nuff said. End of lesson. I mean, like I would attempt to improve upon HIS words??
So where have you been on the "forgiving" stick? Have you measured it out as fully as you should? Has someone crossed your mind while reading this that you may need to bless more in your prayers? Does it surprise you that some blessings you've been asking for may have been withheld because of the measure of forgiveness you've measured out to someone else? Will you, like me, be repenting of this "only the basics" mindset and focusing on lengthening your forgiveness measuring stick? Comments!
In the midst of my contemplations, a particular person entered my mind. This person has never committed a major offense against me, yet for so many years I have felt rejection from her. So many little things, whether done to me or my family, have cumulated to build a tower of hurt. I have struggled with forgiveness towards her, and have many times chosen to forgive. I don't always feel forgiveness, and at times I may not want to forgive. I could so easily justify my desire to remain callus towards her. Yet the Bible reminds me that the heart is deceitful above all things. I understand that forgiveness, like love, is much more than a mere emotion; it is a choice. Sometimes we have to make the choice over and over again, as I have had to towards this individual.
As I lay in bed and these thoughts ran through my mind, I sensed the Lord speaking to me. "Have you forgiven her?" He asked. I responded, "Yes, Lord. I have chosen to forgive her. It's hard, and at times my heart rebels. But I have made the decision to forgive."
Ok, so ya gotta love those times when the Almighty God asks you a question, you respond in what you believe to be a positive manner, and His next statement is, "Ooh, reaaaallllyyyyyy." it was not a question. It was a statement. A long, drawn out statement.
I didn't respond. I simply thought, "Uh oh!" and braced myself.
The Lord then proceeded to lay out "my brand" of forgiveness. Yes, many times I have chosen to forgive this person. Many times I have prayed for her to come to know the Lord as her Savior, is she doesn't already. Many times I have asked Him to change her heart according to His plans for her.
What I didn't realize until last night is that I have never asked the Lord to bless her coming in and her going out. I have never asked for healing or provision in whatever areas she may need them. I have never asked for Him to use her greatly, to raise her up as a mighty woman of God, to fulfill His ultimate plans in her life.
In short, I have never asked big things for her. I was content to ask for the mediocre - salvation and basic needs.
Don't misunderstand; it wasn't my intentional plan. I didn't even realize that's what I had been doing until the Lord God revealed it to me.
As if that didn't already have the conviction fires burning in my heart, I learned He wasn't done with the lesson just yet. He paused for a few moments, letting His words sink in, then He began again.
"I have told you in My Word, that the measure you mete out to others will be the measure I mete out to you." GULP. Say what?? I was speechless. There's times it's just best to remain silent in His presence. This was one of those times.
He continued. "You've been asking about the dreams I have given you. I have promised great things for you, but you are questioning because they haven't yet come to pass. You are tired of having barely enough, and you pray for more than enough, that you can bless others. You desire to go farther, to do more, for Me. It is good to have those desires, but do you not yet understand? The measure in which you forgive others is the measure in which I forgive you. If you ask me to give her the basics, why do you ask me to give to you more than enough? If you ask me to give her salvation, but not to use her mightily, why do ask me to use you more? What you desire for her is what I will give to you. The measuring stick will not change, for I am no respector of persons."
'Nuff said. End of lesson. I mean, like I would attempt to improve upon HIS words??
So where have you been on the "forgiving" stick? Have you measured it out as fully as you should? Has someone crossed your mind while reading this that you may need to bless more in your prayers? Does it surprise you that some blessings you've been asking for may have been withheld because of the measure of forgiveness you've measured out to someone else? Will you, like me, be repenting of this "only the basics" mindset and focusing on lengthening your forgiveness measuring stick? Comments!